There is a risk, with blog posts like this, to come across preachy and whiny. This is not my intention. This post is really just my own musings about how we treat other mothers, and a gentle reminder about how our words can affect another’s peace and calm.
I overhead a conversation recently, between two mothers who knew each other well. One commented that cesareans were “so easy”.
The other – who has had four medically necessary cesareans – felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach and had to walk away.
Now, I’ve had one cesarean and four very different natural birthing experiences, and I can tell you – there was nothing “easy” about any of them. I’m sure there are some women who experience incredibly pleasant labours and deliveries, but I would wager that 95% of the mothers on this planet experience some form of discomfort during the process that would disqualify them from declaring it “easy”.
Giving birth is hard. Bloody hard.
Carrying a baby in your body for nine months is hard too.
Everything that’s worth doing in this life, is hard. Childbearing is no exception.
Everyone has a different battle within their childbearing story, whether it be difficulty conceiving, severe morning sickness, significant weight gain, dozens of stitches, or something out-of-body, such as medical problems for the baby or a relationship breakdown.
If we’re really trying to create a peaceful parenting journey for ourselves, we’ll emanate that to those around us. We won’t make flippant comments that hurt like hell or that diminish another’s suffering.
We’ll be more understanding of the huge variance in experiences.
Not everyone “glows” during pregnancy.
Not everyone loses the baby weight within a month.
Not everyone can deliver naturally.
Not everyone finds peace at the start of this journey, but it’s our responsibility and our privilege to help them find it.
We don’t always have the capacity to help another physically.
But we can start with our words.