You feel overwhelmed.
Covered in spew, pee and maybe even poo.
You feel alone.
You need someone to remind you why this mum thing rocks.
You aren’t alone, mama.
And it’s not your fault.
The thing is that very often, we go into pregnancy and motherhood with slightly rose-tinted glasses and images of beautifully dressed, peacefully serene mums gently soothing their babies to sleep or laughing happily as their little one splashes in the tub.
The media has been feeding us images of what I can only think of as a mythical motherhood experience.
Real motherhood, on the other hand, is very different.
As mum to 5 gorgeous littlies, I know that with every new baby, I’m a new mum all over again.
What’s helped me has been my mindset and shifting it ever so slightly and gently each time I hold a new babe in my arms and feel its tiny fingers curl tightly around mine.
If you’re a new mama or soon to be one, I want to encourage you to make these mindset shifts as you welcome a little one to your home.
New Mum Mindset Shifts
1. Acknowledge that you’re welcoming a whole new person to your family.
That’s right. A baby is a person with its own unique personality, needs, wants, likes, dislikes and more.
When you have a guest arrive at home, you make changes to your routine, right?
This is someone who has come to live in your home forever. Your routine will change. Forever.
Accepting that will help you deal with the middle-of-the-night feeds, the sudden lack of a social life, the days when you don’t get to shower or change till evening.
2. Acknowledge the huge changes your body and you have gone through.
You’ve just given life to a brand-new human being. You have been changed in a very good way.
Love yourself for it.
Sure, there are stretch marks.
Sure, your nipples are sore.
Sure, you feel you’ll never fit into your favourite jeans.
Remind yourself that your body is yours to love. Speak with those who support you about scheduling some time for yourself to renew your mind and soul. Even a few minutes a day for self care can do wonders.
3. Turn up the volume on Radio Confidence.
The early days of new motherhood can be overwhelming, in part due to the unsolicited advice and the constant comparison cycles we put ourselves through.
Press pause on both.
Instead, turn up the volume on your own confidence.
Commit to listening to only the advice of 2-3 people whom you totally trust.
Consciously make a decision to spend time with people who make you feel good about who you are and the choices you’re making.
Get support from other mums but don’t push yourself to be like them because like your baby, you too, have your own mum personality.
So when you see that skinny-jeans-clad new mum with a gurgling new baby while you’re in tracksuit pants and snotty tees with a wailing little one, press pause.
You don’t know their story. You don’t know if that gurgling little one gets colic that keeps both mum and baby awake every night. You don’t know if the new mum has a full staff to help her stay in shape. You don’t know.
All you know is that you’re doing your best. You really are.
Making these mindset shifts will take practice and you may feel awful on some days but it does get better.
After 5 babies and 5 times of being a new mum, I can vouch for that.
What have you done to create healthy mindset shifts when welcoming a new baby?