Do they think the baby will be very big?

Conversation I had yesterday:

Them: “Do they (meaning, my midwife) think the baby will be very big?”

Me: “5 of our babies have been over 4 kg, so I’m not expecting a lightweight.”

Them: “What’s that in pounds?”

Me: “It’s around 9 lb.”

Them *audible gasp*: “That IS big!”

Awkward silence…

First up. You’re not pushing my baby out, so try not to lose sleep about it, ok?

Secondly, what’s it to you if my baby is “big”? My baby will be just the size that it will be and unless you’re planning on posting my baby somewhere, you really don’t need to know the size.

Third, babies are born in all different shapes and sizes every moment of every day in homes and hospitals around the world.

As humans, we’re obsessed with size.

Luckily for babies, their (birth) size isn’t of much discussion once they’re a few weeks old. It’s every day of their existence after that that we harp on and on and on about it.

The constant comparisons with sibling and cousin heights, “Stand back-to-back and let me see who is taller.”

To an older sibling, “I think x is going to be taller than you. How will that feel?”

Comments about someone who has “put on a lot of weight” since we last saw them.

Remarks about that person who is “starting to look their age.”

For goodness’ sake, if you’re alive and breathing, praise the Lord, but also – WHO THE HECK CARES?!

Why is a person’s appearance/size/shape/weight the most interesting thing about them?

Don’t get me wrong. I personally LOVE hearing all the beautiful details about your baby and your birth that you’re happy to share, but I won’t gasp with horror if you tell me you’re expecting a baby that’s over a particular weight that I’ve arbitrarily defined as acceptable.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of commenting on how someone looks. Talking about size and weight and appearance in general… it’s default small-talk and it’s ingrained after decades of growing up knowing that our own appearance was being judged.

But it’s 2024, folks. Time to talk about something else. Or just say nothing

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